Guy Talk
by M-chan
Summary: The G-boys get there own show. Chaos and insanity follow.
1. Guy talk

(Screen comes on to a pitch black stage. In the center, two barely visible figures are sitting on a shape that appears to be couch. Suddenly the lights go up , nearly blinding everyone in the audience, as well as the two figures on the stage. Just as quickly as the lights went up, they go down, once again bringing the stage into darkness.[Chibi: (in the audience) Duo what have you done now!!])  
  
Mysterious voice 1: Quatre get those damn lights right!  
  
Mysterious voice 2: This is injustice! You nearly blinded me!  
  
Quatre: (off screen) (Looking like he's going to cry [Chibi: Hey leave Quatre alone!!]) Sorry! I'm just a beginner and this is hard.  
  
Mysterious voice 1: (Tossing Quatre a lollipop) Don't start balling on me now, Q-man.  
  
Quatre: (Quickly unwrapping the lollipop and popping it into his mouth with an evil cackle) hehe (The lights go up and everyone is silent)  
  
Person 1: Heya and welcome to our new show, Guy Talk! I'm your host, Duo Maxwell. And this is your co-host...  
  
Person 2: I will not give out my name to millions of people! What about the secrecy of our missions and besides, Nataku wouldn't approve!!  
  
Duo: If you don't, I will! (no response) I'll give you to the count of three. 1... (Silence) 2... (still silent) 3... (Nothing is heard except Person 2 jumping through the air to stop Duo) Fine! I'm going to tell them! This your co-host Wufei Chang! (Wufei drops to the ground as Duo bursts out laughing) Don't ya hate gravity?!  
  
Wufei: I shall get you for this injustice!  
  
Duo (ignoring Wufei): Anyway, as you can tell from the title this is a show for guys. Now Wufei'll introduce the people that put this show together!  
  
Wufei: I will not!   
  
Duo: (whispering) Wu-man don't do this to me!!  
  
(A indistinguishable voice is heard from backstage)  
  
Wufei: (looks backstage and gulps) Fine. As you have probably already guessed, our lighting expert is Quatre Rabarba Winner. (just after is name is said, Quatre walks on stage) Heero Yuy is our cameraman. (Heero comes on stage)  
  
Voice backstage: Heero get your butt back and man the camera!! (Heero glares at someone backstage and returns to the camera)   
  
Wufei: As I was saying before I was interrupted, Trowa Barton is our editor (After hearing, never mind you get the idea) And last, but not least, our director is (gulps loudly) M-chan. (He jumps behind the couch as a tall, slender woman with long, green hair and blue eyes walks on stage)  
  
M-chan: Where's Fei-chan?  
  
Duo: (evil grin) Behind the couch  
  
M-chan: (looks behind the couch, finds nothing. She, then , spots him attempting to sneak off the stage and quickly gives chase) oh no you don't!!!  
  
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*  
  
M-chan: (pulling Wufei from out the door by his pony tail and hugging him tightly) Fei-chan!! Did'ya miss me?  
  
Wufei: mphhh  
  
Trowa: I believe the best course of action would be to continue with the show.  
  
M-chan: (drops Wufei and gasps at Trowa. Wufei jumps behind the couch again) You spoke! (Chibi: *faints* [Quatre runs over to her])  
  
(Quatre, Trowa and M-chan head backstage as Duo returns to his seat and grabs Wufei from behind the couch)  
  
Duo: Alrighty then. Our topic today is women...  
  
Wufei: (jumping up) WHAT?! WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING A WHOLE SHOW ON THE WEAK HALF OF THE HUMAN RACE?!  
  
M-chan: (walking form backstage and over to Wufei) One more comment like that from you Wufei... (pulls her Magic Mallet of Doom and gives Wufei an evil smile) and you'll become a permanent stain on the upholstery. Understood?  
  
Wufei: (cowering) yes  
  
M-chan: good (gives Wufei a quick peck on the cheek and walks backstage once again)  
  
Duo: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted (glares at Wufei), our topic today is women. Would you please welcome our guest, Sage Date!  
  
Sage: (walks onto the stage) (to M-chan) Thank you for inviting me.  
  
M-chan: (glares at Duo) it was all the baka's idea!  
  
Duo: ^_^() Heh heh. She's just joking folks!  
  
M-chan: *snort*  
  
Duo: So I've heard that you are the big flirt/player at your high school.  
  
Sage: That's right. As of right now, I have 3 girlfriends.  
  
M-chan: (Right eyebrow starts to twitch)  
  
Duo: (glances uneasily at M-chan) Aren't you ashamed to admit that on the air?  
  
Sage: Not at all.  
  
M-chan: (starts to count to 10)  
  
Duo & Wufei: .....  
  
Sage: What?  
  
Duo: I guess if not ashamed to admit it, then neither am I. (holds up card) See I'm a member of the IFA. International Flirt Association.  
  
Wufei: *snort* I should have known you'd be part of some stupid organization!  
  
Sage: (looks at card) What's their phone number?  
  
(M-chan is now seen being held back by Trowa and Quatre. She has gone red and steam is pouring out of her ears. Suddenly an evil grin appears on her face and M-chan walks backstage)  
  
Wufei: So how many girlfriends do you have, Maxwell?  
  
Duo: About.....  
  
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!  
  
(Everyone is thrown off of their feet by the explosion. M-chan smiles smugly, despite the destruction.)  
  
Angry female voice {Notice how I didn't say voices}: DUO MAXWELL!!!!! OMAE A KORSOU!!!!!  
  
Heero (behind the camera): Hey that's my line!   
  
Girl: SHUT UP, SPANDEX BOY!!!!!!  
  
Heero: -_-() I don't wear spandex all the time. Just look at Endless Waltz!  
  
Duo (ignoring Heero): Hiya Hilde! (notices Hilde's death glare and M-chan's smug smile) Meep! (runs for his life with Hilde close to his tail)  
  
Sage (to Wufei): That is just like a woman to overreact, do you agree?  
  
Wufei: -_- ... (Sees M-chan pull out a little red button) O.O!!! (Runs quickly away from the stage)  
  
Sage (watches Wufei run away): He was sure in a hurry.  
  
M-chan: }: ) hehe. I love my job ^.^V! *presses button*  
  
Sage: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (Is flung in the air by the one and only ejector button)  
  
M-chan: That was satisfying. (looks at readers) well so much for having a good first show. -_- it was all Date's fault, I swear. Well all for now. Hope there's an episode two.  
  
(lights fade out and the theme song starts to play...)  
  
Hilde: HOLD IT!!!   
  
(lights go back up and Hilde is seen holding Duo up by his braid.)  
  
Hilde: I would just like to make it known that this guy (smashes Duo's face on the lens) is mine and any another claims to him shall be ignored. Thank you.  
  
Everyone else: ^^()  
  
(Lights go down and the theme song once again starts to play)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
}: ) I love being an evil ppl. Well How do you like it? send reviews. thanx!  
  
  



	2. Guy talk ep.2 The wackiness ensues!

(Screen comes up a dim stage. M-chan is sitting between Duo and Wufei, looking comfortable. Lights go up to a perfect tint.)  
  
M-chan: Congrats, Quatre. You're getting good at this.  
  
Quatre: (smiles shyly) Thanks.  
  
M-chan: (whispers to Wufei) We really need to get him a girlfriend.  
  
Chibi: (In audience) I volunteer!!  
  
Wufei: O.o() How did she hear us?  
  
Duo: (smiles into the camera) Hello and welcome to the second episode of Guy Talk.  
  
M-chan: ^.^V We made it!  
  
Wufei: (whispers) Just barely.  
  
Duo: As I'm sure you've already guessed, M-chan is our guest host.  
  
M-chan: ^^ A whole show with Wufei. (glomps Wufei)  
  
Wufei: *sigh* Today's guest is from the hit show Sailor Moon. Will you please welcome the onna....  
  
M-chan: (bops Wufei on the head) What did I tell you about using THAT word around me?  
  
Wufei: -_-() sorry. Will you please welcome our guest Rei Hino.  
  
(All is quiet. Crickets chirp. Someone coughs. Trowa walks across the stage to M-chan and whispers something in her ear.)  
  
M-chan: What do you mean she can't make it!? (Trowa shrugs) Damn Amazon Trio always getting in the way. Trowa go get me the guest list.  
  
Wufei: I believe now would be a good time for a commercial break...  
  
(M-chan, and her best friend Chibi-chan, walk forward.)  
  
Chibi: Do you have an annoying anime Character roaming the house? Or maybe perhaps a little brother or sister? Well your problems are solved.  
  
M-chan: (pulls out a little red button) This is an ejection button. Just point it at someone or something and push. Through the roof or maybe out the window they will fly, anywhere is fine.  
  
Chibi: They come in various sizes and colors. Buy one today! Oh and don't forget to read my story, Conflicts!  
  
(the two walk off)  
  
M-chan: Self insertion is bad, didn't you know that?  
  
Chibi-chan: No it's not! (turns back to camera) Don't forget to read it!  
  
M-chan: .... *sigh*  
  
And now back to the show.  
  
(M-chan is seen with a list in one hand and a cell phone in the other. The list flops over and many X's are seen)  
  
M-chan (angrily): Yah! Well same to you to buddy. (Turns off phone) Damn agents, so snobby. (notices that they're back on the air) Uh...  
  
Wufei: *snicker* Nice save.  
  
M-chan: (glares at Wufei) Well unfortunately we couldn't get anyone to come, so....  
  
(side door creaks open and in walks a purple-haired guy.)  
  
Trunks: Could someone help me? My time machine broke down.  
  
Everyone but M-chan: .... ?_?  
  
M-chan: Trunks-kun!!!!  
  
(Trunks's eyes get wide and he rushes for the door, but is too slow. M-chan glomps onto him snugly, hearts in her eyes.)  
  
M-chan: Trunks-kun. You are such a life saver. You see, my guest canceled and low and behold you turn up here. My show will be saved!  
  
Trunks: *sigh* I guess I have no choice.  
  
M-chan: ^.^V Goody goody gumdrop!!!!  
  
(M-chan and Trunks walk over to the couch. M-chan throws Duo off the couch so Trunks can sit down and her next to him. Wufei is scowling and Duo lands on his face.)  
  
Wufei: Humph. *death glare to Trunks*  
  
Duo: Owchies ;_; (notices a blond in the audience) Hello there babe.  
  
Backstage: Ahem!  
  
(Duo glances Backstage. Hilde is standing there, glaring at him)  
  
Duo: Hey M-chan. Why is Hilde here? (Hilde's glare intensifies)  
  
M-chan: She's our new treasurer. And she wanted to keep an eye on you. }: )  
  
Duo: Right. -_-()  
  
Wufei: (to Trunks) So, are you a martial artist or some cheap imitation?  
  
M-chan: (bursts into a giggle fit) Hehehehehehehe!  
  
Wufei: ?_? what?  
  
M-chan: (ruffles his hair) You can be so naive sometimes!  
  
Wufei: *Super Heero Yuy death glare*  
  
Trunks: Uh heh. ^_^() Well I did save the world.  
  
Heero (from behind the camera): Well so did I! It was all me!! Me! Me! Me!  
  
Other pilots: -_- We did help you know!  
  
(M-chan senses rebellion among the pilots, so she wisely changes the subject.)  
  
M-chan: So do you have a girlfriend?  
  
Trunks: ...*blush*  
  
Duo: Ah ha! So the rumors about you and Pan going out are true!!  
  
Trunks: Maybe. I'm not saying! *super blush*  
  
M-chan }: ) Hehe. How about a tournament!  
  
Trunks (brightens up): A fighting tournament?!  
  
M-chan: Nope ^_^V a video game tournament!  
  
Everyone else: -_-() Oh joy.  
  
Trowa: What game will we be playing?  
  
Trunks: O.O you spoke! *faints*  
  
M-chan: *poke* Trunks-kun? (glares at Trowa) You killed our guest, you moron!  
  
Trunks: *wakes up* Ugh.  
  
M-chan: *glomps Trunks* You're alive!!  
  
Wufei (to Trunks): You should have stayed dead.  
  
M-chan: (glares at Wufei) I heard that!  
  
Wufei: *smirk* I know.  
  
(M-chan pulls out a big box. In it appears to be various game systems and games.)  
  
M-chan: (pulls out Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64) Ah ha! We're ready for business.  
  
Quatre: *sweatdrop* What about the games?  
  
M-chan: Oh yeah! Hehe, silly me to forget! (rummages through box again) Zelda, nope. (throws it behind her) Mariokart, not a chance! (also throws this one behind her and it hits Duo in the forehead)  
  
Duo: x_x Ouch.  
  
M-chan: (pulls out three really dusty games) Here they are! (gives them to Quatre) Hold these while I set up everything.  
  
Heero: Time for a commercial....  
  
(M-chan walks on the stage, Magic Mallet of Doom in her hand)  
  
M-chan: Hello. I have here, another product form Fan Girls Inc. This is a Magic Mallet. You may also add a name as I did. Despite it's size, it is very light.  
  
(Duo sneaks in, a Magic Mallet in hand. Getting behind her, he holds a finger to his lips for silence.)  
  
Duo: Take that!!!!! (swings the Mallet at her head) WHAM!  
  
M-chan: They come in many colors and sizes.  
  
Duo: ?_? (swings again) WHAM!!!  
  
M-chan: You can keep them in hammerspace, where you can get them whenever you want.   
  
Duo: *growl* (swings harder this time) WHAM!!!  
  
M-chan: Thank you. (swings Mallet at Duo, who goes flying)  
  
Duo: I get hurt a lot on this show x_x  
  
M-chan: Remember, author's protection works every time! ^_~  
  
And now back to the show  
  
M-chan: *sigh* We have run out of time. Tune in next time for our video game tournament.  
  
(lights fade and them song starts to play)  
  
  
  



	3. Guy talk ep. 3 Christmas time ^_^

(lights go up and theme song starts to play...)  
  
CRASH! BANG! WHAM!  
  
M-chan: Duo! This time you die!!!!  
  
Duo: It was an accident! I didn't mean to run into the Christmas lights!  
  
(Duo comes running across the stage, entangled in multi-colored Christmas lights. M-chan is behind him, katana upraised. Behind her is Quatre, face like that of when he was in Wing Zero)  
  
Quatre: Do you know how long it took to put those up!!!! *glare* I agree with M-chan on this one. Now you die!!!!  
  
(Duo continues to run, when someone stops him by yanking on his braid)  
  
Hilde: Going somewhere?  
  
Duo: *smooch*  
  
Hilde: Hehe (gets a goofy smile on her face and lets go of him. He sprints off again)  
  
M-chan: (Shakes Hilde) You let our prey go!!!!!  
  
Quatre: You stupid girl!  
  
Hilde: (snaps out of it) Sorry ^_^()  
  
(M-chan grabs Duo as he passes by. He turns around and kisses her on the lips, thinking it's Hilde)  
  
M-chan: ..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!! (runs form Duo)  
  
Wufei: Maxwell!! I will now kill you!!   
  
Duo: (Looks around at the three people about to kill him) What can I do to save myself!  
  
M-chan: }: ) Well there is one way. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
*censered*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*censered*  
  
M-chan: Perfect!  
  
Wufei: I agree. }: )  
  
Quatre: Best job for him.  
  
Duo: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! I want out!  
  
(Duo is seen standing on a Christmas tree stand. Wrapped around him are the same Christmas lights he was entangled in. His arms are spread apart, and a star is on the top of his head)  
  
Trowa: .........BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone else: O.O  
  
M-chan: He...  
  
Wufei: Is...  
  
Heero: Laughing!!!!  
  
(Trowa is rolling on the floor laughing, tears pouring down his face from the mirth. Everyone is backing slowly away from him)  
  
M-chan: Trunks, go poke him or something.  
  
Trunks: I'm not doing it!  
  
M-chan: Heero?  
  
Heero: No way!  
  
M-chan: Quatre, he's your best friend. Poke him!  
  
Quatre: Make Wufei do it!  
  
M-chan: Fei-chan! Please!  
  
Wufei: Not even if Nataku told me to!  
  
M-chan: Hilde? Your boyfriend caused this! You poke him!   
Hilde: Since Duo caused it...   
  
Duo: I CAN'T POKE HIM!!!! I'M WRAPPED IN CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!  
  
M-chan: Oh yeah! Hehe }: ) ^.^V  
  
(15 minutes later, Trowa is still laughing and the rest are still arguing)  
  
M-chan: SOMEBODY DO IT!! THIS IS CRAZY!!  
  
(Ryouga walks in)  
  
M-chan: Ryouga-kun, poke Trowa for me. *flutters eyelashes* Pretty please?  
  
Ryouga: Okay! *pokes Trowa*  
  
(Trowa's eyes glaze over and he drops off. Everyone cranes their neck to see if the strange happening is over)  
  
M-chan: Phew! It's over.  
  
Trunks: So when is the video game tournament?  
  
M-chan: Thanx for reminding me, Trunks!  
  
(Everyone but M-chan bop Trunks on the head)  
  
Wufei: Why did you remind her!!!  
  
Heero: Now we have to play some stupid Beetle game!  
  
(M-chan looms over Heero, face red and flames coming from her mouth)  
  
M-chan: BEETLE ADVENTURE RACING IS NOT STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! UNDERSTAND???!!!  
  
Heero: yes ma'am.  
  
M-chan: Good! Now let's see, first round is me vs. Trunks, Wufei vs. Heero, Quatre vs. Ryouga, and Trowa vs. Duo. Let the games begin!  
  
Trunks vs. M-chan  
  
Trunks: I wonder where she is?  
  
(M-chan walks out in a elf outfit, complete with turned up shoes and a hat with a bell. Trunks would have laughed, except for the truly evil grin M-chan was wearing.)  
  
M-chan: Guess what Trunks! }: )  
  
Trunks *gulp* What?  
  
M-chan: (holds up an outfit similar to hers, only bigger) You get to be an elf too!  
  
Trunks: *groan*  
  
M-chan: *glare* It's either this or a reindeer.  
  
Trunks: ^_^() I'll take the elf outfit.  
  
M-chan: Good!   
  
(Trunks go backstage to change. M-chan pulls out the games. Beetle Adventure Racing, Yoshi's Story, Gundam Wing: Endless Duel)  
  
(Trunks walks out)  
  
Trunks: (looks at games) Which one are we playing?  
  
M-chan: Whichever one you want.  
  
Trunks: (looking at the games) Does it have to be one of these :(  
  
M-chan: *glare* You don't like my games?  
  
Trunks: *sweatdrop* Never mind. *sigh* I guess I'll pick Beetle Adventure Racing.  
  
M-chan: }: ) Muahahahahahahaha!! I was hoping you'd pick that one!  
  
Trunks: O.O Is it too late to change my decision?  
  
M-chan (brightly, almost too brightly): Nope!  
  
(M-chan turns on the game. She then goes to Beetle Battle{The best part of the game!})  
  
M-chan: Pick what color car you want Trunks.  
  
Trunks: Green, I guess.  
  
M-chan: *glare* The green car is mine.  
  
Trunks: Shesh. Okay, blue  
  
M-chan: Now we're going to battle in the stadium. The object is to get all 6 colored beetles before the other person and get back to start.  
  
25 minutes later...  
  
(Screen shows both with five beetles. The both need the same beetle and both are armed with missiles. Whoever destroys the other first, wins.)  
  
M-chan: Trunks, you are against the master of video games. I already have a clever plan formed. (Mariemeya voice) I will be victorious!  
  
Trunks: *snort* You're just saying that to intimidate me. Well it's not working!  
  
(M-chan presses the accelerator just as Trunks launches his missiles. M-chan grabs the beetle just before she is blown up. Of course, after being blown up, the game sends her back to start and she wins)  
  
M-chan: :p Told you I'd win.  
  
Trunks: (mouth hangs open)  
  
(Lady Kiara pops in. She looks at the screen and then at M-chan and Trunks.)  
  
Lady Kiara: I'm sorry, but that round is disqualified. You hadn't explained the rules well enough to Trunks. Therefore the tournament is now officially over.  
  
M-chan: (steam is pouring out her ears) You can't do that! This is my show!! I make the rules!!!  
  
Lady Kiara: (glares at M-chan) I'm from the network and they said that this cannot go one any longer. *wields her big stick* Any problems with that?  
  
M-chan: (looks at Lady Kiara's big stick and sweatdrops) No. *sigh* I guess this means I don't get to whoop Fei-chan's butt. Oh well.  
  
(Lady Kiara disappears and Trunks looks at M-chan strangely)  
  
Trunks: I thought you had author's protection?  
  
M-chan: I do. Just not from other authors. (Turns around and yells backstage) Everyone get out here! (Everyone walks on stage) I've got bad news. No more video game tournament.  
  
Everyone: ... *cheer* YAY!  
  
M-chan: ?_? I thought you would be unhappy about this.  
  
Wufei: What ever gave you that idea, onna?  
  
M-chan: (hits Wufei so hard he falls unconscience) WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT WORD!!?? (looks at the fallen Wufei) *sweatdrop* Opps! (looks at audience) Until next time, Minna-chan!  
  
(lights fade out as theme song starts to play)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
  



	4. M-chan's revenge

(Lights come on as theme song starts to play)  
  
Duo: Konichi wa, minna-san!  
  
Wufei: Or for the Japanese deficient, hello everyone.  
  
Duo: Do you always have to ruin my introductions.  
  
Wufei: After all the annoyance you put me through, Maxwell, you deserve it.  
  
Duo: *pulls out scythe* Now I'm going to kill you for all the times you've insulted me.  
  
(Duo lunges for Wufei, but Wufei dodges and Duo ends up cutting the couch in two)  
  
Duo: O.O() Uh oh.  
  
(Explosion is heard backstage and Quatre comes flying form backstage. He hits the stage and slides to their feet)  
  
Quatre: Run for your lives, she's coming! (Runs off the set)  
  
Trowa: (running after Quatre) MMMMMMM!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: Even I'm not that brave. (Starts to move from camera)  
  
M-chan: Move one more inch and I'll kill you.   
  
(M-chan walks on stage, glaring at Duo.)  
  
M-chan: Duo what did you do to my couch?  
  
Duo: Um, ^^() nothing!  
  
M-chan: You wish! Ooooooooo Blizzard  
  
(A white wolf walks onto the set, hackles raised and teeth bared)  
  
Wufei: O.O You didn't tell us you had a wolf!  
  
M-chan: *evil grin* Consider him security. Now Duo, do something like that again and I'll make Quatre the new host, clear?  
  
(Duo shakes his head extremely fast, ultimately making himself super dizzy. Quatre, hearing the previous comment, grows horns and slinks off.)  
  
M-chan: Okay, let's get the show started. (Another explosion rocks the set) Alright! This isn't funny! (Walks backstage)  
  
Trowa: (Inching slowly on set as to not get Blizzard mad) What did you do this time, Duo?  
  
Duo: I didn't do it this time, I swear!!!!!!  
  
Wufei: Whatever you say Maxwell, but we all know you're behind 99% of all the stuff that happens around here.  
  
M-chan: DUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All except Quatre & Duo: O.O RUN!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: I didn't do it, I swear!!!!!!  
  
M-chan: Oh really! Then why did I find a note signed by you at the crash site.  
  
::Note::  
HA HA HA! Take that M-chan!  
Signed,  
The God of Death  
  
Duo: *gulp*  
  
M-chan: Sic 'em, Blizzard.  
  
(Blizzard is seen chasing Duo off the set.)  
  
M-chan: Quatre, get your ass out here!  
  
Quatre: Yay! I get to be host. *bounces on stage and into the...oh yeah there's no couch ^^()*  
  
M-chan: I guess my bean bags will have to substitute until we get better sit wear. (snaps fingers and bean bags fall. One hits Wufei.)  
  
Wufei: Injust-mphhh! (another falls on him, this time catching in his mouth)  
  
M-chan: No yelling, I'm about to explode!  
  
Kale: Take this Ronin whelp! BLACK LIGHTNING SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
(Another explosion occurs and the wall separating the stage from the back falls. Standing there is Ryo Sanada and Kale uh..... Kale Cale *grin*)  
  
(M-chan storms over to the Ronin and Warlord. She grabs both of their helmets and throws them into the audience.)  
  
Darkness: *PING* Owies! ;_;  
  
Hope: *pong* Watch where you're throwing things!!  
  
(M-chan then grabs both of them by their ears and yanks them forward.)  
  
M-chan: YOU F***ING B*****DS WRECKED MY SET!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryo & Kale: @-@ Must you be so loud?  
  
M-chan: *growl* You guys just wrecked my set and you're asking 'Must I be so loud!!!!??? .  
  
Kale: *looks at Ryo* Is it just me, or does she appear to be angry?  
  
Ryo: *gulp* She looks just like Mia does when I get home late.  
  
M-chan: ô_o ?  
  
Kale: ô_o !  
  
Wufei: Weak onnako!  
  
Quatre: That's sweet ^-^  
  
Duo: (still running) _ You're just mad you ain't got a girl, Fei-chan.  
  
Blizzard: NNNNN (translation: When I get a hold of him, to put it lightly, very bloody set.)  
  
Wufei: DON'T CALL ME FEI-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
M-chan: That's it! Wufei and Quatre, sit in the damn chairs!!!  
  
Q & W: *sit*  
  
M-chan: Ryo, Kale! Sit in the chairs beside them. You're our guests today.  
  
Ryo: O.O *sit*  
  
Kale: I refuse to be some guest on a stupid...  
  
M-chan: SIT!!!!!!  
  
Kale: O.O() *sits*  
  
M-chan: Now, we will have a nice enjoyable show. You may begin. *walks backstage*  
  
Wufei: Okay, what's you're occupation *whispers* Baka questions to ask.  
  
Ryo: I'm a Ronin Warrior. It's my job to destroy all evil in the universe. *strikes manly pose*  
  
Kale: *rolls eyes* Basically it's my job to pound that guy into the ground.  
  
Ryo: HEY! You have never once pounded us into the ground.   
  
Kale: I pounded Sage.   
  
Ryo: Well, Sage is Sage.  
  
Quatre: *super big Disney smile* ^_________________^ Who is Mia?  
  
Kale: *points to Ryo*  
  
Ryo: *blush* She's kinda my girlfriend.  
  
Heero: *from behind camera* Does she stalk you and beg you to kill her?  
  
Ryo: O.O No....  
  
Heero: Than you have nothing to worry about.  
  
(Relenna bursts out on stage)  
  
Relenna: HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! COME AND KILL ME!!!!!!  
  
Heero: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (runs off set, Relenna behind him.)  
  
M-chan: *sigh* Since our camera man is gone, I guess this is the end of the show. Ja ne.  
  
(Instead of the usual theme song, "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen" plays in the background)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  



	5. The Inside Look

(A hand held video camera turns on. M-chan's grinning face appears on the screen)  
  
M-chan: 'Bout time we had a special, don't you agree?  
  
Voice off camera: Hey! What about me?  
  
M-chan: Hush! You'll get it in a second! (looks back into the camera) Remember how Ryo and Kale wrecked my set, well Rowen here is gonna sneak this here camera back stage as a handy repair man, so we can see all the before show action ^_^.  
  
(M-chan hands the camera to Rowen)  
  
Rowen: Hi mom!  
  
M-chan: *whaps him up side the head* Idiot! That's not what you're supposed to do!  
  
Rowen: *rubs bump* Yeah, yeah. Just don't injure the hardware. Wouldn't want my IQ to drop.  
  
M-chan: -.- You have an IQ of 250. One or two points won't matter!!!! (She kicks Rowen) Open the door and get in there. I'll follow in a few.  
  
(Rowen opens the door and steps in. Wufei suddenly pops in front of him)  
  
Wufei: Who the hell are you?!  
  
Rowen: (coughs and then makes his voice deeper) I'm the repair man. Some girl named M-chan hired me to fix a busted wall.  
  
Wufei: *looks at him supciously* ...Okay. The wall is over there. *jerks thumb backwards*   
  
Rowen: (Holds up camera) Smile!  
  
#outside#  
  
M-chan: D'OH!!!  
  
#inside#  
  
(Rowen runs away before Wufei can recover from the shock. He scales the catwalk and then swings underneath of it quietly. Wufei growls and starts to look for him)  
  
Wufei: When I get a hold of that blue haired freak, I'm going to deal him some serious justice.  
  
(Duo walks in)  
  
Wufei: Morning, Maxwell.  
  
Duo: *bleep* you, Chang! (Storms into his office and shuts the door) {Censer: Bad mojo, that is.}  
  
Wufei: Well THAT was un called for. (Continues to search for the "blue haired freak")  
  
Rowen: Let's see what's up with Braids. (Zooms the camera in on Duo)  
  
Duo: (Looks around suspiciously before taking his hat off. Rowen nearly falls off the cat walk. Duo is standing in the middle of his room, hat off, and head completely bald! His cueball head shining in the florescent lighting. He opens up a closet to reveal many wigs lined up in rows) Which one today?  
  
Rowen: O.O() And I thought Sage was the only one. (shakes head) The stuff you learn every day. (points the camera downstairs as the door opens)  
  
#downstairs#  
  
M-chan: (opens the door) Ohayoo, minna!  
  
Wufei: ô_o You're here early.  
  
M-chan: The early bird catches the worm, Wuffers.  
  
Wufei: *glare* Don't call me Wuffers!  
  
M-chan: (eyes go zero-y) Save your new ageism for the softies, granola boy! *hurls kick ball at him*  
  
Wufei: (the ball hits him in the head) Good night Mommy! @_@ (Wufei falls backwards to hit the floor)  
  
M-chan: (She shakes her head) What happened? (She sees Wufei on the floor) *poke* Wuffers?  
  
(Trowa and Quatre walk in)  
  
Trowa: Soanyway, Iwasjustwalkingaroundthemall, lookigforsomenewshoeswhenIcomeaccrossHilde. She'sattachedtoHeero, jutsnugglingupagainsthim. Iwaslike, "ohmyGod-  
  
Quatre: That's would be interesting, IF I cared, which I don't. I'll be in my dressing room, so don't bug me. (walks into his dressing room and slams the door)  
  
Trowa: (Waves to M-chan) How'sitgoinggirl. I'mjustfineanddandy. Wouldyouliketoknowwhat-  
  
M-chan: ^^() That's okay, Trowa. Why don't you go get ready for the show. Only two hours till show time.  
  
Trowa: (puts his hands on his cheeks) OHMYGAWD!!!! Youaresoright, Istillhavetodomyhair! (rushes into his dressing room)  
  
M-chan: *sigh* The things I have to deal with. (looks around too make sure no one is around) Rowen, where are you?  
  
Wufei: (wakes up) Who are you talking to?  
  
M-chan: (jumps in surprise) AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (turns to glare at Wufei) Don't do that!  
  
Wufei: I was just coming to ask you who today's guest is and you call someone's name. Who WERE you talking to?  
  
M-chan: #^^# (scratches the back of her head) Would you believe, Papa Smurf?  
  
Wufei: *rolls eyes* Sorry I asked. (walks off)  
  
M-chan: Papa Smurf, where are you? *giggles*  
  
(Rowen lets go of the catwalk and falls to the floor)  
  
M-chan: *smirks* How's it going, Papa Smurf?  
  
Rowen: (sarcastically) Ha ha. Real funny, M-chan.  
  
M-chan: ^_^V Thank you!  
  
Heero: Who's that M-chan?  
  
(M-chan jumps ten feet into the air. She turns around and her eyes widen in surprise)  
  
M-chan: O.O Heero and... HILDE?!  
  
Hilde: Humph! (she sticks her nose in the air) What's wrong with that?  
  
M-chan: B-B-But y-y-you're D-D-Duo's girl aren't you?  
  
Hilde: I was. He's too much of a player.  
  
Heero: (hand around Hilde's waist) You didn't answer my question. Who is that guy standing behi... Never mind, I must be seeing things because he's gone.  
  
Hilde: *kisses Heero's cheek* Bye baby, see you on the filming floor. *walks into her office*  
  
Heero: *smiles and sighs happily*  
  
M-chan: O.O He... Just... Smiled!!!!???? *faints*  
  
Heero: *looks at M-chan* That's the twellth person today that's done that... (walks into his office)  
  
Rowen: *hops down and looks at M-chan's prone from* Ummmmmmm....  
  
Wufei: *walks up* M-chan, I need more bubblegum for my Nataku sh-YOU! *raises his katana and runs at Rowen*   
  
Rowen: MEEP! *runs off, the camera forgotten*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
That was totally stupid... Oh well! ^^ Read and review!  
  



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